Discussion:
[MMUSIC] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Paul Kyzivat
2017-07-07 20:10:23 UTC
Permalink
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the
IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other
last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at
<​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-07-07
IETF LC End Date: 2017-07-24
IESG Telechat date: TBD

Summary:

This draft is basically ready for publication, but has a few nits that
should be fixed before publication.

Issues:

Major: 0
Minor: 0
Nits: 4

(1) NIT:

Section 5.3: s/Eventhough/Even though/

(2) NIT:

Section 8: s/aTLS/a TLS/

(3) NIT:

Section 8: What is the point of including the example? I don't see how
it adds anything. Perhaps worked out O/A examples contrasting the
differences between the new and existing cases might be marginally
helpful. (But IMO not enough to bother with.)

(4) NIT:

Section 10.3.2: s/Througout/throughout/
Christer Holmberg
2017-07-10 08:08:24 UTC
Permalink
Hi Paul,

Thanks for your review! Please see inline.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the
IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other
last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at
<​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-07-07
IETF LC End Date: 2017-07-24
IESG Telechat date: TBD
This draft is basically ready for publication, but has a few nits that
should be fixed before publication.
Major: 0
Minor: 0
Nits: 4
Section 5.3: s/Eventhough/Even though/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: s/aTLS/a TLS/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: What is the point of including the example? I don't see how
it adds anything. Perhaps worked out O/A examples contrasting the
differences between the new and existing cases might be marginally
helpful. (But IMO not enough to bother with.)
The idea was to take the existing example from RFC 4572 (I note the
reference is wrong: s/3261/4572), and show how it looks with the tls-id
attribute.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 10.3.2: s/Througout/throughout/
Will be fixed.

Regards,

Christer
Christer Holmberg
2017-07-10 09:02:50 UTC
Permalink
Pull request: https://github.com/cdh4u/draft-dtls-sdp/pull/33

(I kept the example in Section 8, but I fixed the reference)

Regards,

Christer
Post by Christer Holmberg
Hi Paul,
Thanks for your review! Please see inline.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the
IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other
last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at
<​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-07-07
IETF LC End Date: 2017-07-24
IESG Telechat date: TBD
This draft is basically ready for publication, but has a few nits that
should be fixed before publication.
Major: 0
Minor: 0
Nits: 4
Section 5.3: s/Eventhough/Even though/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: s/aTLS/a TLS/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: What is the point of including the example? I don't see how
it adds anything. Perhaps worked out O/A examples contrasting the
differences between the new and existing cases might be marginally
helpful. (But IMO not enough to bother with.)
The idea was to take the existing example from RFC 4572 (I note the
reference is wrong: s/3261/4572), and show how it looks with the tls-id
attribute.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 10.3.2: s/Througout/throughout/
Will be fixed.
Regards,
Christer
Christer Holmberg
2017-07-12 12:58:03 UTC
Permalink
Hi Paul,

Are you ok with my reply?

Regards,

Christer
Post by Christer Holmberg
Pull request: https://github.com/cdh4u/draft-dtls-sdp/pull/33
(I kept the example in Section 8, but I fixed the reference)
Regards,
Christer
Post by Christer Holmberg
Hi Paul,
Thanks for your review! Please see inline.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the
IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other
last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at
<​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-07-07
IETF LC End Date: 2017-07-24
IESG Telechat date: TBD
This draft is basically ready for publication, but has a few nits that
should be fixed before publication.
Major: 0
Minor: 0
Nits: 4
Section 5.3: s/Eventhough/Even though/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: s/aTLS/a TLS/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: What is the point of including the example? I don't see how
it adds anything. Perhaps worked out O/A examples contrasting the
differences between the new and existing cases might be marginally
helpful. (But IMO not enough to bother with.)
The idea was to take the existing example from RFC 4572 (I note the
reference is wrong: s/3261/4572), and show how it looks with the tls-id
attribute.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 10.3.2: s/Througout/throughout/
Will be fixed.
Regards,
Christer
Paul Kyzivat
2017-07-12 19:31:33 UTC
Permalink
Post by Christer Holmberg
Hi Paul,
Are you ok with my reply?
Yes.

Thanks,
Paul
Post by Christer Holmberg
Regards,
Christer
Post by Christer Holmberg
Pull request: https://github.com/cdh4u/draft-dtls-sdp/pull/33
(I kept the example in Section 8, but I fixed the reference)
Regards,
Christer
Post by Christer Holmberg
Hi Paul,
Thanks for your review! Please see inline.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the
IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other
last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at
<​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-07-07
IETF LC End Date: 2017-07-24
IESG Telechat date: TBD
This draft is basically ready for publication, but has a few nits that
should be fixed before publication.
Major: 0
Minor: 0
Nits: 4
Section 5.3: s/Eventhough/Even though/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: s/aTLS/a TLS/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: What is the point of including the example? I don't see how
it adds anything. Perhaps worked out O/A examples contrasting the
differences between the new and existing cases might be marginally
helpful. (But IMO not enough to bother with.)
The idea was to take the existing example from RFC 4572 (I note the
reference is wrong: s/3261/4572), and show how it looks with the tls-id
attribute.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 10.3.2: s/Througout/throughout/
Will be fixed.
Regards,
Christer
Christer Holmberg
2017-07-12 19:39:09 UTC
Permalink
Thanks! :)

Regards,

Christer

-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Kyzivat [mailto:***@alum.mit.edu]
Sent: 12 July 2017 21:32
To: Christer Holmberg <***@ericsson.com>; draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-***@ietf.org
Cc: General Area Review Team <gen-***@ietf.org>; IETF MMUSIC WG <***@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Post by Christer Holmberg
Hi Paul,
Are you ok with my reply?
Yes.

Thanks,
Paul
Post by Christer Holmberg
Regards,
Christer
On 10/07/17 12:02, "Christer Holmberg"
Post by Christer Holmberg
Pull request: https://github.com/cdh4u/draft-dtls-sdp/pull/33
(I kept the example in Section 8, but I fixed the reference)
Regards,
Christer
On 10/07/17 11:08, "Christer Holmberg"
Post by Christer Holmberg
Hi Paul,
Thanks for your review! Please see inline.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by
the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like
any other last call comments. For more information, please see the
FAQ at <​http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-dtls-sdp-26
Reviewer: Paul Kyzivat
Review Date: 2017-07-07
IETF LC End Date: 2017-07-24
IESG Telechat date: TBD
This draft is basically ready for publication, but has a few nits
that should be fixed before publication.
Major: 0
Minor: 0
Nits: 4
Section 5.3: s/Eventhough/Even though/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: s/aTLS/a TLS/
Will be fixed.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 8: What is the point of including the example? I don't see
how it adds anything. Perhaps worked out O/A examples contrasting
the differences between the new and existing cases might be
marginally helpful. (But IMO not enough to bother with.)
The idea was to take the existing example from RFC 4572 (I note the
reference is wrong: s/3261/4572), and show how it looks with the
tls-id attribute.
Post by Paul Kyzivat
Section 10.3.2: s/Througout/throughout/
Will be fixed.
Regards,
Christer
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